CHASTITY

This is not unique to Islam. Remaining a virgin until you are married is still practiced by many in the western world. Having grown up in a society that looked at me as 'a loser' for not having had intimate relations with a man, I was very surprised to come to a Muslim country and find that this was apparently a good thing.

What people have to remember is that this is not a punishment for women. It applies to both men and women, despite many men thinking the contrary. If marriage was the only avenue for relations then sexually transmitted diseases would not have spread, young girls wouldn't be left alone to take care of babies they fell pregnant with in one night stands and the father wanted nothing to do with ultimately decreasing the proportion of single mothers, abortion rates would all but be gone and men could not escape the obligations they have to their children. It would also decrease adultery as husbands (and wives for that matter nowdays) would not have avenues out of the home to cheat unless they went with someone elses husband/wife. This was put down by Allah (S.W.T.) in order to prevent the aforementioned things happening.

In addition, there is nothing more beautiful than knowing that your husband/wife is the only one who has seen you and knows you in this vulnerable position. I went to school with many girls who shared a bed with a boy to only have their name slashed around the school yard days later as either a 'slut' or as 'bad.' And this made him look like a king. When a man has relations with a girl he is considered a champion but she is considered a 'slut.' By allowing men to enjoy this with us, we are giving them so much power. And the men most women give it too don't deserve it.

This is why we should keep our body precious. Be a diamond. Don't be cubic zirconium. This applies to ALL aspects of relations, not only the breaking of the hymenn which many seem to be confused about today. Sex is sex whether it is taken from the back or front. In actual fact anal sex is never permitted, even once married, so it definately is bad when one is not married. This is a great hypocrisy I have seen today with girls who look down at non virgins when they have the back door open every night for their boyfriends. Sadly, these women believe that they are doing the right thing because they are remaining virgins. The reality is that they are giving men even more power over them by accepting to do something with the sole purpose of pleasing him. If one is happy to go to such lengths to please a boyfriend, wouldn't they prefer to go to further lengths (and remain untouched) to please their husband/father of their children?

Ultimately, sex is something best shared when married. It is safe when there is a contract joining two people and Allah has blessed the union. Allah knows what is best and has written it for us. We can see that pre marital sex has damaging consequences but continue to do it out of often pressure to maintain a relationship or keep a partner happy.